A Love That Binds
by cphillygirl
Summary: Spock, in his new faith, faces a life-changing calamity that tests his belief in God. Warning: Death of a main character. This is the ninth story of my Soul Journey series,


A Love That Binds

Three days after Spock and T'Meika's baptism, T'Mara sent videos via computer of the blessed day to her three cousins. Spock sent a copy to his mother. The day he had contacted his mother to learn if she received the video, he had noticed that she was very pale, and seemed to have lost weight. His mother tried to reassure him that all was well, however it was not the flu but a baterial infection His father also, in his way, attempted to convince Spock that the Diplomatic doctor had it all under control, and had prescribed antibiotics.

oooooooooooooo

It was now forty-five days since Amanda received the endearing video of Spock and T'Meika's baptism. Amanda's health had improved, but in the last few days, the infection returned. Since the medication did not completely destroy the bacteria, the doctor placed her in the city hospital on Zatar.

Early the following day, Spock awoke from a fitful night's rest. That whole night his mind was on his mother. He prepared himself for his day at Starfleet Academy. Once dressed, he slowly walked past the meditation alcove and headed to his home office. Instead of starting with his usual prayer-meditation, he decides to contact his mother by subspace communication. He had recently gained permission from Starfleet command to use the subspace radio to contact his parents. His fingers tap the desk as he waits with unusual anxiousness for someone to answer his call. At last his mother's sickly image appears on the small screen.

Spock's stoic expression for a long moment slips to deep concern. He swallows, then regains his composure. "Mother…this infection... I thought the doctor injected you with the correct antibiotic. Is the medicine still not killing the bacteria?" Seeing that his father is now entering the room, his face becomes void of the deep emotion he is now feeling.

"Son…I must be honest. The medicine has not taken effect. The doctor feels that I should return to Vulcan to have the healers take over my treatment. The doctor just does not have all he needs here on Zatar, nor will he be able to get the correct antibiotic in time…to get me better," Amanda says with her voice weak and at times almost inaudible. She tries hard to give her son an encouraging smile.

T'Mara, now clothed, enters the office and stands right behind Spock. Hearing the last words from his mother, she places a hand on each of his shoulders.

Spock finally replies, "Mother…I had asked that if there were any changes, you would contact us. You say that you will be making the trip back to Vulcan. Is Father not going to join you on your journey back?" He studies his mother's face.

Sarek's impassive features now also appear on the screen. "Spock, your mother's condition has deteriorated some, but do not be concerned. I will accompany your mother when the time comes to head back to Vulcan. Once she is with the healers and her health improves, I will return to Zatar."

Spock keeps his focus on his mother. "Please notify me when you take your leave of Zatar. Please, I insist, no matter the hour, contact me of any changes…" He clears his throat. "Mother…I…I love you. Take care." He then places his hand on the screen, fingers spread in the Vulcan V.

Lady Amanda places her delicate hand on the screen to match his hand. "My son…I love you. T'Mara, I love you, and please tell my grandchildren I love them. God bless you, and please keep me updated on how you are doing. I will be so anxious to see my grandson when he is born."

T'Mara also places her hand on the screen. "Mother, I love you, and yes, I will keep you posted. God bless." She gives Amanda a loving smile.

Spock notices that Sarek left the room without saying farewell to him. He turns the computer off and sits back.

Sensing his tension, T'Mara begins to massage his shoulders. She's not only worried for her husband, but also for his mother. With compassion, she says, "Spock, I am sure she is getting the best of care."

He slowly rises, then faces his loving wife. Forgetting about his aloof father, his thoughts return to his mother. "Perhaps, but she is advanced is years, so even a minor infection can cause her great harm." He exhales. "I suppose we need to turn our concerns over to God." He takes hold of T'Mara's hand." Come, let's wake our daughters."

She nods and slightly smiles at him. T'Mara only hopes he will truly put his trust in God. As they leave the room, she silently prays for him and Amanda.

Neither knew that they might never again speak to his mother. Later in the week, Amanda and Sarek were en route to Vulcan via shuttle, and according to the last communiqué from Sarek, Amanda's condition was stable. But the day before the shuttle was to orbit Vulcan, Amanda's condition made a dramatic turn for the worse.

ooooooooooo

Late Saturday afternoon, Spock's time of relaxation on the back deck with his family is interrupted by an urgent subspace call. Spock instructs the girls to go inside and play, while he and T'Mara head to his office. He presses the button to engage the communication screen.

The image of Sarek's grave face appears. His brows furrow as his speaks. "Son, I have dire news. The diplomatic doctors did all they could, but her ninety-five-year-old heart could no longer take the strain caused by the bacteria. The doctors made sure that she died painlessly." He paused and then continues, "Her body will be placed in a stasis field to allow you time to arrive at Shikahr. I will inform her next of kin in Seattle. Contact me as soon as you learn when you will be able to leave Terra. I need to say farewell now, for I need time to...make arrangements"

The news of his mother's passing hits Spock hard. Inwardly, he begins to shudder. He hears T'Mara, who is beside him, weeping, which tears at him. Even so, he manages to appear calm as he says, "Father, I grieve with thee. I will contact you soon..." Before Spock could say goodbye, Sarek cuts off the call.

Spock and T'Mara simultaneously stand up, and he holds her close to him. At this moment, he needs her physical closeness. It is a long while before he releases his wife from the embrace. He is now able to talk. His eyes, full of sorrow, look deeply nto his wife's tear-filled eyes. "T'Mara…oh my Aisha, Mother is dead." He allows a tear to escape his eye. "I did not even get a chance to say goodbye in person."

T'Mara is shaken by the news of Amanda's death. Spock's mother was a special lady who had treated T'Mara like a daughter. Amanda would be missed by the many people whose lives she had touched.

T'Mara's caring eyes never leave Spock's distraught face. Will she have the words to help ease his pain? "No, you didn't get a chance to visit her, but you were able to tell her that you loved her. I saw her face when you shared those special words. It meant so much to her."

Spock slowly shakes his head. With deep remorse, he utters, "It...was the only time I ever told her I loved her. Being Vulcan, I was not allowed to express those feelings."

T'Mara wishes she could remove his guilt. "I am sure she always knew that you loved her, and being married to a Vulcan, she never expected to hear those words." She hopes to make him think of something more positive. "Remember, Spock, she is now in the presence of God, and all pain is gone from her. There will be no more tears in Heaven."

Spock lowers his head for a moment, then turns his gaze on his wife. Emotions are racing through him, and doubt of a loving God enters his soul. With bitterness, he replies, "Are you so certain? Why would your loving God allow such pain? Why did he take her from me and not allow me to be with her at the end?" His words come out more harshly than he attended. In fact, after saying them, he realizes his questions were illogical, for every being's life comes to an end and all learn from their sufferings.

T'Mara understands that the anger in his voice was not really aimed at her. She gives him a sympathetic gaze. "Oh Spock, God has not forsaken you. He is aware of the deep hurt you are experiencing. These are the times we need to depend on Him the most."

Spock rubs his chin as he contemplates her words. Any hint of anger on his face seems to have disappeared. "T'Mara, your words are sound, however, for me it is a difficult concept. I have always depended on my inner strength."

The corners of her lips turn upward. "Jesus knows this, and he will be waiting for you." She takes a breath. "Now, we have a difficult task, and that is to inform our daughters of their grandmother's passing." She reaches out for him. He takes her hand in his, and they leave the office together.

They head downstairs to the family room. Both girls look up at their parents. T'Meika had been worried about Grandma Amanda, and upon seeing her father's grim face, she figures the news is bad.

When Spock and T'Mara enter the room, T'Anya puts her doll down. Hoping for the best, she inquires, "Daddy...Mommy, did you get to speak to Grandma?"

Spock glances over to his wife, then back at their two precious daughters. He clears his throat. "Please sit down with us on the sectional."

He allows T'Anya to sit on his lap as T'Meika settles down between them. Like the time T'Mara was missing, this is going to be very heartbreaking for the two girls. At least he had his wife for support.

Remarkably, Spock's face shows complete calmness as he speaks. "T'Meika, T'Anya, we received a call from Sarek..." Bracing himself for the onslaught of emotions that will come from his daughters, he informs them of their grandmother's death.

T'Anya's lower lip quivers, then tears stream down her face. As she cries, she hides her face in his shirt. T'Meika attempts to keep composed, but grief overwhelms her. She embraces her mother as she begins to weep uncontrollably.

ooooooooooooooooo

That Monday, after receiving his bereavement leave, Spock booked a flight for early Tuesday morning on the starliner _Independence,_ bound for Vulcan. He informed Sarek that they will arrive at Shikahr by late afternoon on the last day of the week. He then briefs his family about their itinerary.

In his office, Doctor McCoy evaluated T'Mara, and although she was in the late stages of her pregnancy, he okayed the journey to Vulcan for Amanda's funeral. He applied a monitor patch on her ever-expanding waist. The patch not only gives the baby's vitals, but also T'Mara's vitals. This way he will be able to keep tabs on both of them.

ooooooooooooo

The long flight is tedious for T'Meika and T'Anya, so all are relieved when the Starliner finally makes orbit around Vulcan. Spock, his family, and their valises are beamed to Shikahr's main transporter station. To Spock's amazement, Sarek greets them at the terminal. They all enter his roomy skimmer and fly off to his estate. Once inside the large home, Spock places their bags in the proper rooms. He and T'Mara would stay in the guest room, and the girls are to stay in his old room.

As his family unpacks their luggage, Spock meets his father in the living area. Seeing that his father has seated himself in the Vulcan-style club chair, he settles in an earth chair across from Sarek. His thoughts before arriving had been on his mother. Amanda was the one who had attempted to mend the rift between Spock and his father when he left for the Academy. She was always trying to keep the family together.

Sadness touches his soul, but he knew he could not allow it to show on his face. With control, he says, "Father, Mother had spent many years on Vulcan and had gained respect from many people. I assume there will be a large gathering at the service?"

Sarek finally looks at his son. With his face void of expression, he replies, "The estimated number of attendees will be two hundred and fifty-three. I did receive a communication from Captain Kirk, which states that he and Dr. McCoy will be able to be present at her funeral."

T'Mara and the children quietly enter the room. They settle on the couch adjacent to Spock's chair. He acknowledges them with a nod. He is grateful to hear that his closest friends are making the effort to attend the service. He returns his attention to his father. "Excellent."

T'Mara was not afraid of Sarek; however, he made her feel uncomfortable. With a somber tone, she conveys her condolences. "I am sorry for your loss. Lady Amanda will be greatly missed. I cherished her dearly."

Before Sarek could reply, T'Meika adds, "Yes, Grandfather, I will never forget her." She then sniffles. "I will miss my grandmother."

T'Anya's sad eyes look at her grandfather. "Yes, Grandfather...I miss her so."

Sarek slowly nods as he looks at T'Mara. With a cool tone, he replies, "Thank you for your words." He does not grant his grandchildren any sign of appreciation.

Spock observes his children's faces. Even T'Meika's expression was one of hurt. His eyes flash with a hint of anger as he addresses Sarek. "Father, could you not show our daughters the consideration to respond to _their_ words?"

"Since you deem it important." Sarek briefly glances at the two girls. "T'Meika, T'Anya, your words are appreciated."

"Thank you, grandfather," both replied in kind.

No longer wishing to be in his father's company, Spock stands up. "Father, may I have permission to borrow mother's ground vehicle?"

"For what purpose?"

"I would like to take my family to tour the city, since the children have never been to Shikahr."

His father pauses for a long moment, then at last he responds, "Alright, Spock you may. When do you plan to return?"

"I cannot provide an exact time. But it will be early evening." Spock helps T'Mara up. The two girls follow right behind them. Without a further word, they all exit the house.

ooooooooooooooooo

An hour before Nevasa would hit the horizon of Shikahr, Spock kneels on the meditation stone that is in the far side of their room. It is the first time he has prayed to his Lord since his mother's passing. His anger towards God left him when they were en route to Vulcan. Now for the first time, he asks Jesus for mental fortitude, for the day ahead will be most difficult. There is no denying that his Vulcan composure will be tested on this solemn day – the day they all will pay respects to his mother.

Hearing his wife stirring in the bed, he goes over to her. He lowers himself to her and whispers, "T'Mara, there is no need to arise. You have another 2.78 hours till we have breakfast."

A sleepy smile appears on her face. "I know...but this Vulcan bed is not as yielding as our bed, and it hurts my back. I'll get up." An idea enters her head. "Hey, once I'm dressed, we can go out and sit on the bench in your mother's garden and watch the sunrise."

He takes hold of her hand, then helps her to stand. His eyes smile as he peers at her. "Ah...that is an exceptional idea."

Spock then sits at the small wood desk to read his science journals while he waits for T'Mara to get ready for the day.

She taps his shoulder. "Ready?"

He stands, then turns in her direction. He takes a minute to admire her glowing face and how the long flowing lavender dress enhances her beauty. Spock reminisces back the first time she was pregnant. How he was uncomfortable in touching her growing waist. No longer the case, he places his hands on her waist. As he feels his son move, his eyes gleam and the corners of his mouth move upward.

"Our son...how I wait for the day of your arrival." His eyes meet T'Mara's big, dark, shining eyes. "Come, my Aisha, let us head to the garden."

ooooooooooooooooooooo

The observance is being held at the small amphitheater on top of Mount Seleya. Spock is touched by the many who have come to attend his mother's memorial service. The numbers exceed Sarek's estimate of two hundred fifty-three. He and his family are greeted by several of the Federation Ambassadors and their families. Sarek is now talking to the High Master.

Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy seek out their friend. As they file through the crowd, they see Spock in the far corner of the building. They manage to make their way over to the family, despite being stopped a few times by diplomats who recognized them.

Jim lightly touches Spock's shoulder. Even though he had only visited with Amanda a few times, he certainly will miss her compassion, charm, and wit. Jim drops his hand. "I grieve with thee. She was a special woman and she will certainly be missed."

Spock meets Jim's eyes. The service had yet to begin, but every mention of his mother stirs the despair that is within him. He can only hope that he does not become overwhelmed by these deep feelings. "Thank you," he manages to reply. "I am very grateful that you made this effort to pay respects to my mother."

Jim slightly smiles. "You're welcome, my friend."

"Spock, please accept my condolences. Remember we are here for you," McCoy says with deep sympathy.

"Thank you, Leonard," Spock replies sincerely.

Bones then goes up to T"Mara. The doctor's eyes quickly observe her. His medical mind is satisfied by her appearance. With a caring voice, he says, "You are looking well, and from the monitor results all seems well with the baby." He takes hold of her hand with both of his hands. "Remembering Amanda's wonderful and gentle soul will forever remain in our hearts. May she rest in peace." He releases her hand.

T'Mara briefly bows her head. With her dark eyes, she looks at the good doctor. "Yes, our son seems to be doing fine. Thank you for your kind words."

The High Master, T'Vera, steps up to the podium. Soon everyone files to their proper seats. She begins the somber affair with a brief eulogy .

Sarek then stands to face the many people who came to honor his wife. His deep voice gravely but calmly resonates throughout the room as he speaks. "Thank you to everyone who came to pay respects to my wife..." He continues with highlights of their marriage and Amanda's achievements. He glances around the audience, then ends, "She surely will be missed."

Spock wonders if he caught a touch of emotion in his father's final words. He glances at his wife before standing. T'Mara's big, bright eyes are shining with reassurance. He walks to the front of the amphitheater, where he clears his throat. He, too, gives words of gratitude. He shares his most important experiences with his mother. Unlike Sarek, his feelings would briefly come to the surface. But at this moment he does not care. "My mother...was a strong woman...whose love kept our family together." He hesitates, then adds, "Now she is at peace and with the One who represents true love."

As he walks back to his seat, he hears the murmurs of the Vulcan attendees. When he draws closer to Sarek, he turns his head away, for he feels his father's eyes boring into him. At last, he sits beside his wife.

After a few last words from the High Master, the memorial comes to its conclusion.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Spock and his family return to the stately home before Sarek. He figures his father was resolving some unfinished business. Perhaps, even apologizing for his son's unbecoming behavior. Spock will not allow himself to care how Sarek will react, for he has now put his trust in God.

Spock instructs his wife and children to begin packing their valises. He no longer wishes to stay, and he expects that things will deteriorate when Sarek returns. But courtesy dictates that he must remain long enough to say goodbye.

After making sure the girls' bags are packed correctly, T'Mara joins Spock on the pale couch. He gazes at her lovely face and asks, "Are the girls coming out?"

She senses his uneasiness, and she also feels disquieted, for soon Sarek will return. "I thought it best for them to stay in their room to play," she explains, laying her hand on top of his. "Spock, this is a painful time for you, and not knowing what to expect when your father comes home, makes matters worse. We can pray now if you like."

Just as Spock is about to reply, the front door swooshes open and his father enters the home. He is carrying some bags, but heads to his office. Ten minutes pass, and they hear his footsteps approaching the living area.

Sarek stands erect, placing his hands behind his back. He looks directly at his son. "Spock, come with me to my office," he coolly requests.

Spock follows his father into the spacious office. He mentally prepares himself for a rebuke over his display of emotion and words of faith.

Once inside, his father turns to face him. Sarek folds his arms across his chest, and his face becomes taut. How could his son bring shame to the clan of S'chn T'gai? For a long moment, he scrutinizes his son. Then he begins his condemnation.

Meanwhile, in Spock's old room, two girls stop playing and look at each other. Both grow concerned as their grandfather and father's voices become loud with anger.

T'Meika notices T'Anya's lower lip quiver. "Come, Sis, let's join Mom in the living room. I am sure she would like some company."

Her sister glances at the door as she hears Sarek's mean words. T'Anya nods. "Yes, Mommy might need us."

Both scurry to T'Mara.

"Mommy," T'Anya says as she hops onto the sofa.

T'Meika settles on the other side of her mother. "We…thought you might be bored being by yourself."

T'Mara gives her daughters an appreciative smile. She knows by the way they came from their room that they are upset over the intense argument between their father and grandfather. But right now she will keep that to herself. "Thank you, girls. It will be nice to have you both to talk to."

Ten minutes later, Spock leaves his father's office and walks directly towards them. "T'Mara...girls…retrieve your valises. We are leaving, now." His words hint at the agitation still within him.

Without a further word, all leave the premises.

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

It is the sixth night after their return from Vulcan. T'Mara's contractions have started and become intense. She slowly sits upright in bed, and senses that Spock has awakened beside her. With pain in her voice, she declares, "Oh...I think the baby is ready to come into the world. " She quickly places a hand on her abdomen. "Ow…we better head to the med center...right now."

Spock bolts from the bed and begins to get dressed. He then assists T'Mara up off the mattress. Even though their son was not due for fifteen days, Spock had made sure she was packed for her stay at Starfleet Medical Center. Now he grabs the luggage, and he guides her to the door.

T'Mara giggles. "Um, Spock aren't we forgetting something? Or shall I say someones?"

Spock looks about him. "I don't think we are..." Realization dawns and he interjects, "Ah, our daughters." He goes to their room. He helps T'Anya dress while T'Meika gets ready. Then the two excited girls join their mother.

T'Meika and T'Anya get in the back of the skimmer. Spock helps T'Mara into the front seat of the vehicle. Spock settles in the pilot's seat, and soon the skimmer lifts into the air.

ooooooooooooooooo

T'Mara is taken to the birthing center. Spock, T'Mekia and T'Anya follow the aide to a waiting area. There he contacts his father-in-law. Andre informs Spock that he will arrive within the hour.

After a short time, a nurse approaches Spock. "Captain, all is fine with your wife and the baby. If you choose, you may join her in the birthing room."

He glances at his two daughters, then looks back at the nurse. "Their grandfather has not arrived yet."

A young woman dressed in civilian clothes comes up to them. "Hello, Captain Spock. My name is Catherine Hicks. I'm a volunteer here. I would gladly watch them till their grandfather arrives."

The nurse nods then adds, "Oh, Catherine is really good with children."

T'Meika and T'Anya both peer up at Spock. Even though he has just met this volunteer, he feels comfortable having her supervise his children. "My Daughters, it will be fine. Andre should be here very soon. So please behave for the young lady while I tend to your mother."

T'Anya tugs on his shirt sleeve. "Daddy, when can we see Mommy?"

"After your baby brother is born."

"Okay, Daddy. Tell Mommy we can't wait to see the baby," T'Anya says cheerfully.

"I will tell her." He then faces Catherine. "Thank you for your kindness."

"No problem, sir. It's why I'm here. You better go in now." She smiles at Spock.

He follows the nurse into the room. Spock thinks that after witnessing T'Meika's birth, he would not feel at all anxious, but that is not the case. He then notices that Dr. McCoy is assisting the obstetrician.

Bones notices his friend's apprehensive expression. He gives him a reassuring wink. "Hey, Spock, everything's fine. Now come up here by your wife, Mister, where you belong."

Spock obeys the good doctor and is soon at her bedside.

ooooooooooooooooo

Andre arrives to sit with his two precious granddaughters, T'Meika and T'Anya. Sometime later, a nurse walks down towards them, waving. They all stand and meet the nurse. Observing her bright smile, Andre suspects the news is good.

"You and your grandkids may go in," she says.

He allows the two girls to enter the room first. They see their father holding their baby brother, eyes beaming with joy. Spock, with his son close to his chest, steps up to Andre. "Father, meet your grandson, Stefan." He cautiously hands the newborn into his father-in-law's hands.

Andre admires his grandson, who has light tan skin, little tussles of wavy hair, and dark eyes much like his father's. Andre's eyes gleam, and a bright smile hits his face as he looks back at Spock and T'Mara. "You named him after my father?"

His smiling daughter takes a quick glance at Spock, then looks back at her father. "Oh, yes. We both agree to name him after Grandpa Stefan."

"If he was still alive, my father would be so honored." Andre is about to place Stefan back in T'Mara's arms when he feels a little hand touching his shirt sleeve.

T'Anya bounces on her toes. "Grandpa, may I hold my baby brother?"

Before her grandpa replies, Spock interrupts, "Go ahead, Father, assist her in holding her baby brother."

T'Anya's whole face lights up as she carefully takes Stefan into her arms. "Look, T'Meika, isn't he adorable?"

The corners of T'Meika's mouth twitch upwards. She does think he is very cute; however, being the oldest now seems to lose it luster. Everyone will probably dote over him. But as she watches him squirm in T'Anya's arms, and his eyes shine, she wants nothing but to hold him, too. She glances up at her father.

He nods. "Go on, my daughter, and hold him."

She takes Stefan into her arms. "Oh, baby brother, I will have so much to teach you."

Observing his children and the newest member of the clan, Spock acknowledges that it is love that binds a family.

With the baby back in his mother's arms, Dr. McCoy prepares to take a picture of the loving family. Many years ago, he would never have thought he would witness Spock surrounded by a wife and three children. But mostly, him allowing some of that love to show on his face.

15


End file.
